TL;DR lots of jelly shots and the Kegs defend their Pink Blitz title from 2019
After two years in a covid-induced hibernation, the 22nd annual Pink Blitz returned in all its glory this year as 9 teams from across the island survived the battle against a never ending onslaught of jelly shots and good times. The Kegs returned as the reigning trophy winners from a boozy 2019 campaign, but after adding 18 new club members this year they brought reinforcements registering a second Chuggers team for this years blitz to help address the insane volume of gelatinous foes. It was going to be a gruelling 8 hours of vodka infused sugar and the Kegs could use all the help they could get…
The day was off to a hot start, taking a half dozen of the Suspects’ strongest punches before the first pitches were even thrown. One would think that could have doomed most teams to start so early, but not this bunch…
On the softball front, both teams came out swinging early and secured quick wins against the teams who graciously traveled all the way from Belfast and Galway for the day’s festivities and by mid-day the Kegs were 3-0 and the Chuggers were a respectable 2-2. And that’s when the bar opened…
War can take a toll on a man and many see things on the field of battle that they can’t un-see. But the players endured as the Kegs continued their winning streak into the afternoon securing wins against Galway, the Renegades, Deadly Suspects, and a defensive struggle with Castleknock, while the Chuggers focused on the real battle for the soul of the Pink Blitz against mass produced sugar slurps.
The tournament reached peak stupidity in the final round of the day. The Chuggers had been holding the left flank all afternoon while the Kegs made a surprise end run that resulted in both teams meeting on the same pitch. There was much confusion for about who the real enemy was, but at the end of that game all were able to put aside their differences and unite their efforts against the clubhouse bar.
“We can’t be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests…We’re fighting for our right to live, to exist…We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight!”, Chuggers captain Katie Flynn proclaimed emphatically. “Today we celebrate [the Pink Blitz]!”
That speech may or may not have been plagiarized from the film, Independance Day, but the point is the craic was indeed mighty.
The undefeated Kegs moved on to the final with the Chuggers covering their 6 against any potential jellied assailants and emerged from the 2022 Pink Blitz as the repeat champions.
Pink Blitz ’22 Jelly Shots:
Deceased – 540*
Wounded – 1,249*
Captured or MIA – unknown…
*reported figures are approximate and/or completely made up
